The BCS is like Jessica Alba (And Here’s How to Fix It)

Jessica Alba

Jessica Alba is kind of like the BCS…
Too hot to mess with.

Let’s start from the beginning. The outcry over the BCS and the desire for a college football playoff system stems, I believe, from our innate American need to proclaim someone the best at everything (the richest, the sexiest, and so on).

The resistance to implementing significant change to the current bowl system is due to the fact that the schools and bowls are already making tons of money. Let me try an analogy: If you were already dating Jessica Alba, would you be out hitting the bars and clubs every night looking to meet someone hotter, or would you be spending as much time as possible at home with Jessica?

But what I really want, and I think most other fans too, is simply to watch great, exciting football games. That’s why I was up last night witnessing a once-in-a-lifetime (did someone say “Game-changing?”) performance. And games are always more exciting when they “mean” something (like a do-or-die playoff game would—see “Madness, March”).

On PTI today, Tony Kornheiser pointed out that before the much-maligned BCS, we probably woudn’t even have seen a game like yesterday’s. As Tony said, “Baby steps.” But now that you’ve seen Boise State play (and you can admit that it was the first time, even if you vaguely recalled that they’re the team with the “smurf turf”), don’t you want to see them play again?

So here’s what I propose:

Treat the BCS bowls as quarterfinals. USC and Boise State are through to the semis, along with the winners of the Orange and Sugar Bowls. Then, next week, instead of one exciting, meaningful game, we get two. The two winners then play the week after for the true, undisputed, glorious championship of college football. The sun will shine, birds will chirp, and children will sing happily in the village square, for at last, we have crowned a champion!

It only takes one extra week and virtually nothing has to change. We still have the original bowl games. They can keep their sponsor names for all I care. We just add a couple extra games that are guaranteed to be cash cows for the TV networks and the schools. It’s like Jessica Alba brought home one of her hot friends. Everybody wins!


2 Responses to The BCS is like Jessica Alba (And Here’s How to Fix It)

  1. Alex says:

    Boise State would not be through to the semis, as there are currently 5 BCS bowls right now, and the current Tostitos National Championship game would bump out this year’s Tostitos Fiesta Bowl to a non-BCS.

  2. Sherri says:

    That would clarify it a lot, as in the dispute between OU and USC a couple of years ago over who was actually the National Champion. (OU, of course)

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